Elder abuse can be hard to recognise, especially when it involves someone they know or trust.
It includes any action, or lack of action, that causes harm, distress, or loss to an older person. It can take many forms and may be a single incident or an ongoing pattern of behaviour.
It can be deeply upsetting, as it involves a breakdown of trust with a person or people, they know or those who are close. The impact is devastating for older people as it damages their health, their self-esteem, their financial means, and/or their social relationships.
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth paying attention. Support is available.
Types of abuse
Elder abuse can take different forms, and it’s not always easy to recognise. The sections below explain the most common types — select each one to learn more.
Psychological or emotional abuse includes actions or attitudes that cause fear, distress, humiliation, or a loss of confidence or dignity. It can be obvious or subtle and happens repeatedly over time.
This can include
- verbal abuse, threats, or intimidation
- being isolated from other people and other controlling behaviour
- treating an older person as if their views, experiences, or autonomy do not matter.
It also includes negative stereotypes, dismissive attitudes, or jokes about older people or “the older generation” Comments that belittle, mock, or stereotype older people—such as implying they are a burden, irrelevant, resistant to change, or less capable because of their age—can be deeply harmful. Even when framed as humour or casual opinions, these messages can undermine self‑worth, increase feelings of shame or isolation, and normalise disrespect.
Psychological abuse may not leave visible marks, but its impacts on mental health, confidence, and wellbeing can be long‑lasting.
Financial abuse can include misusing bank cards, forcing house mortgage deposits, taking possessions, or taking over financial authority. A loan or a guarantor signature can be “given” under duress or coercion.
It is illegal or improper use of money, property or other assets. For example:
- unauthorised taking of money or possessions
- misuse of power of attorney
- failure to repay loans
- use of home and/or utilities without contributing to costs
- scams that rely on establishing a relationship with the older person with the intention of exploiting their savings and/or assets, e.g. romance scams
“Just sign here, Dad: If we don’t get back to the bank today, we will lose our house…”
Physical abuse is not always obvious unless hitting or pushing is noticed. Bruises can be hidden beneath clothing and complaints about pain are excused.
It is the infliction of pain, injury or use of force. For example:
- hitting, pushing, rough handling
- over-medication
- inappropriate use of restraints or confinement
“Stop moaning, just watch where you are going and lift your feet – then you won’t trip up.”
Neglect is when someone does not provide the care or support needed. This can include:
Not enough food, shelter, or clean living conditions
- Lack of personal care
- Limited or no social contact
- Missing medical care
Sometimes, people focus on their own need in a way that harms an older person. They may deliberately ignore an older person’s wellbeing and choices, which makes the harm worse over time.
Neglect can also happen when someone is providing care for a partner, whānau/family member, or other loved one and becomes overwhelmed, exhausted, or unwell themselves. Over‑stressed carers may prioritise the needs of the person they support while neglecting their own health, rest, social connection, or safety.
Self-neglect occurs when an older person is unable or unwilling to meet their own basic needs in a way that puts their health, safety, or wellbeing at risk. This may include poor nutrition, neglecting personal care, unsafe living conditions, or not seeking needed medical care.
Self‑neglect is often linked to isolation, declining health, trauma, or unmet support needs. A supportive, compassionate, and understanding response can make a real difference.
Sexual abuse includes any inappropriate touching or any sexual advances without consent.
It includes non-consensual sexual acts or exploitive behaviours. For example:
- inappropriate touching
- sexual acts with someone unable to give consent
Some takatāpui and rainbow older people may classify psychological and physical abuse as sexual abuse too, particularly if it references their gender or sexual orientation.
Institutional abuse happens when an agency’s policies, practices, or protocols are not respecting what older people need and are inflexible, such as: “Carers can only shower in the mornings, twice a week.”
This can include agencies that provide care in people’s own homes, and businesses that provide services to older people living independently. An example is changing a contract requirement to pay online without first considering an older person’s ability to access online services.
It is policy or accepted practice within an organisation that disregards a person’s rights or causes harm. For example:
- lack of respect for a person’s culture or customs
- Inappropriate rationing of continence products
- inflexible routines e.g. breakfast at 8 am in the dining room
Workplace discrimination
It is illegal for employers to discriminate based on age. Employers also cannot ask a potential employee how old they are or what medical conditions they have. Common types of age discrimination include; assuming that an older employee will not be able to manage technology or learn new skills, that they will not fit in with the company culture because they are a different age to other staff, or that they cannot be included in staff benefits such as insurance because of their age.
If a person can physically and mentally do the job, they should not be discriminated against because of their age. If you experience discrimination in the employment process or during your time with an employer, you can contact the Human Rights Commission or Employment New Zealand.
Why does elder abuse and neglect occur
If you’re experiencing abuse, or worried about someone else, it’s important to know this is not your fault.
Elder abuse and neglect do not happen because older people have done something wrong. They’re often linked to a mix of personal, relational, and social factors that create stress, imbalance, or misuse of power.
Understanding what can contribute to abuse helps people notice the signs earlier and seek support sooner. The sections below explain some of the common reasons – select each one to learn more.
Ageism and negative attitudes about older people
You may notice negative attitudes about older people in everyday life.
When people have negative beliefs about ageing, such as seeing older people as a burden, less capable, or no longer valuable, it can lead to normalising disrespect and mistreatment. Jokes, stereotypes, and dismissive attitudes can erode empathy and make harmful behaviour seem acceptable.
When society undervalues older people, abuse and neglect are more likely to be overlooked, minimised, or excused.
Power imbalances and dependence
Abuse often happens when one person has more power or control in a relationship.
This might happen when:
- A family member has control over money, legal arrangements, housing, and/or transport
- An older person must rely on someone else for daily care or decision‑making
- There is a misunderstanding about the roles and responsibilities of an enduring power of attorney
- An older person fears losing support, independence, or relationships if they speak up
When there is dependence without oversight or accountability, the risk of harm increases.
Stress, burnout, and lack of support for carers
Caring for a loved one can be rewarding. But it can also be exhausting.
Supporting someone without enough help can create pressure and feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s hard to cope.
This can lead to:
- Missed care and unintentional neglect
- Frustration and conflict that can lead to verbal outbursts and emotional harm
- A breakdown in healthy relationships
Carer stress does not excuse abuse, but it highlights the importance of early and ongoing support, respite options, and shared responsibility.
Support for carers is important. Reaching out early to discuss support options with your GP and other health professionals can help prevent things from becoming harder. Carers New Zealand has helpful resources and guides that can help.
Social isolation and loneliness
Staying connected helps protect your wellbeing.
When contact with others is limited, and someone is feeling loneliness and socially isolated, it can be harder for concerns to be noticed early.
Isolation can also increase the risks of scams and fraud. You may be approached by people who seem helpful or friendly but are trying to gain your trust for their benefit only.
Scammers often target people who are lonely or disconnected, using phone calls, emails, or online messages that offer companionship, urgency, or false reassurance. These scams may involve:
- fake relationships
- investment opportunities
- prize notifications
- requests for money or personal information.
When someone is feeling lonely, they may be more likely to engage accept support from acquaintances or strangers purporting to be kind and caring, trust misleading information, or feel embarrassed about asking for help once something feels wrong. Over time, financial abuse through scams can lead to significant financial loss, anxiety, shame, and a loss of confidence.
Strong social connections, access to clear information, and supportive conversations play an important role in reducing the risk of exploitation.
Family conflict, trauma, or inter-generational issues
Family relationships can be complex.
Life transitions, such as changes in health or cognition, bereavement, or moving home, can bring stress and uncertainty.
You might experience:
- Disagreements about care decisions
- Pressure around money or housing
- Shifts in roles and expectations
When emotions are high and support is limited, this can lead to controlling behaviour, emotional harm, financial pressures, or neglect, sometimes without people realising it.
These transitions can shift roles and expectations within families and may bring grief, fear, or a sense of loss for everyone involved.
Elder abuse and neglect can occur within families where there are long‑standing tensions, unresolved conflict, or histories of trauma. Patterns of behaviour from earlier life, such as poor communication, control, or family violence, can continue or re‑emerge as people age.
Elder abuse in these situations often reflects broader relationship strain rather than a single incident. Supporting families through change, encouraging open and respectful communication, and ensuring older people’s voices remain central are key to reducing conflict and preventing harm.
Financial pressure and entitlement
Rising living costs, housing insecurity, or debt of relatives and others, can increase the risk of financial abuse or exploitation of older people.
Some people may feel entitled to your money, space, or assets, especially where inheritance or caregiving expectations are involved.
Taking time, asking questions, and getting advice can help you make decisions that feel right for you.
Read more in our brochure called It’s your money, and your choice! Get a copy from your local Age Concern or download it below.
Health changes, cognitive impairment, or disability
Changes in health, mobility, or cognition can increase vulnerability, particularly when systems are complex or support is insufficient.
Misunderstanding, fear, or frustration around these changes can contribute to neglect or mistreatment.
Systematic and institutional failures
Sometimes, the systems meant to support people don’t work as they should.
This can involve agencies and businesses having:
- Inadequate services or staffing
- Inadequate training
- Policies not being upheld or agreed contracts not being fulfilled
- Lack of safe reporting pathways or not meeting consumer right responsibilities
- Gaps between health, social, and community systems
When systems do not work well together, older people needs are not managed appropriately.
A preventable issue
Elder abuse and neglect are preventable.
The risks decrease when:
- Ageism is challenged
- Older people are respected and listened to
- Communities stay connected and informed
- Carers are supported early
- Help is easy to access and non‑judgemental
Addressing elder abuse is not about blame, it is about understanding, compassion, and shared responsibility.
If you spot the signs that any older person is being abused, please phone us to discuss your concerns confidentially. We would rather talk through options to stop any abuse that might be happening now, than leave it until abuse has been proven when the damage is harder to repair.
You can call us on 0800 65 2 105 or contact your nearest local Age Concern elder abuse service team. Support is there to help you take the next step.
Addressing elder abuse globally
Elder abuse is recognised as a global issue.
World Elder Abuse Awareness Day (WEAAD), held on 15 June each year, serves as a global call to recognise and address elder abuse as a public health issue, and a human rights violation, and a growing policy challenge in ageing societies. Get involved, and support help prevent elder abuse in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Age Concerns hold community events in mid-June and these awareness raising activities provide good opportunities to talk through questions. Age Concern New Zealand runs a nationwide campaign (link to campaign) to encourage older adults and all New Zealanders to speak out to prevent elder abuse.
