You might notice that looking after yourself has become harder. Or you may be worried about someone you care for. Self‑neglect happens when a person is unable or unwilling to take care of their own basic needs.
What is self-neglect?
This can include not eating or drinking enough, not keeping up with personal hygiene, living in unsafe or unsanitary conditions, or not seeking medical care when it is needed.
Unlike other forms of neglect or abuse, self‑neglect doesn’t usually involve deliberate harm from another person. Instead, it can happen when it becomes harder to notice or respond to your own needs, often linked to complex life circumstances, health issues, or trauma.
It can affect people of any age. But it is more common if you live alone, or are experiencing long‑term health, disability, or social isolation.
Self-neglect can also affect carers. If you’re supporting someone else, you may be putting their needs ahead of your own. Over time, this can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unable to keep up with your own health, rest, social engagements, and safety.
Support is available. Age Concern and other community groups can help you find the right kind of support.
What does self-neglect look like?
Self‑neglect can look different for each person. Some common signs include:
- Poor personal hygiene or wearing dirty or unsuitable clothing
- Malnutrition, dehydration, or significant weight loss
- Untreated medical conditions or missed medications
- Unsafe or cluttered living environments
- Hoarding or difficulty discarding items
- Withdrawal from family, friends, or community
- Refusal of help or services that would improve safety or wellbeing
Why does self-neglect happen?
Self‑neglect doesn’t usually have one single cause. It often develops because of multiple, overlapping factors. These can include:
- Changes in physical health can mean difficulties increase and make everyday tasks harder.
- Mental health and cognitive changes may prevent people from organising daily life
- Trauma and life experiences may make asking for help frightening or shameful
- Living alone, bereavement, or limited social connection can lead to withdrawal and reduced support.
- It may feel like the last way to maintain control over their life
These are other reasons why self-neglect occurs:
Staying connected plays a big role in helping you maintain your health, safety, and sense of self‑worth.
When contact with others becomes limited, it can be harder to keep up with daily tasks and routines.
Social isolation is not just about being alone. It is about having too little meaningful contact with others to notice changes, offer support, or help stay well. Without regular interaction:
- Daily tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or personal care can feel overwhelming
- People may lose the incentive to care for themselves or their environment
- Feelings of “it doesn’t matter anymore” can take hold
Loneliness and isolation are strongly linked to depression, which in turn increases the risk of self‑neglect and withdrawal from care and services.
When isolation is prolonged, self‑neglect can become severe before anyone becomes aware. This increases the risk of:
- Malnutrition, dehydration, and infection
- Falls, injuries, and preventable hospital admissions
- Unsafe housing conditions and environmental hazards
Caring for someone you love can be rewarding. But it can also be tiring and overwhelming.
If you’re supporting someone without enough help, it can affect your own wellbeing. Carers who are isolated, unsupported, or overwhelmed may struggle to cope.
This can lead to:
• Unintentional neglect – missing your own health needs
• Emotional harm or verbal outbursts
• A breakdown in healthy relationships
Feeling like this doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s a sign that more support may be needed.
If caring is becoming too much, reaching out early can help prevent things from getting harder. Carers NZ helpline, 0800 888 797 may be a good first step.
